5 Steps to Better Social Networking

While I know everyone on your networks enjoys the good ol' selfie, I am here to tell you that there is more to social networking than your mirror shot, tilted head, and coiffed hair. But, I know you know that already. Or you don't, and seriously, thank goodness you're reading this.

A while back, I was in a bad situation - recently laid off from my first job out of college. I was devastated. People, myself mostly, had put high expectations on my success. Ya, ya, ya, I'm a Millennial. I did expect great things. I had (some) confidence, a degree, and an untapped network.

The thing about Social Networking is that we view it differently from our regular relationships, and that's where we have it wrong. Relationships require maintenance. And that's no different from your social presence. Your acquaintances and "friends" on Facebook are a connection that could lead to an opportunity, and if you aren't feeding your network, they will flounder.

The good news? Social Media is an introvert's paradise.

Social Media allows you to manage your relationships with little investment. Now, don't take this the wrong way. When I interact with you on my social properties, I genuinely mean it. But it's easier for me to network online because, believe it or not, I'm an introvert at heart. When I attend conferences, at the end of the day I'm sitting in my room staring at the wall in complete silence while I catch up with myself. I'm pissy, touchy, and unmanageable if I don't get my wall time.

Back to my bad situation. We moved to Portland for my husband's job and I was left blogging, and working part time at an event company. That's when something amazing happened. My social network moved  me. I got the job I have now because I managed my social network.

Before I get into tips, how about the why? When people tell me they get really picky about their LinkedIn connections, I get a little skeptical. How in the world do you know where you'll be 10 years from now? We all have plans, but as my story showed, it certainly didn't go the way I wanted it to.

Networking, social networking, is about planning for the unexpected. Here's how:

1) Be Genuine. Seriously. Don't "like" the picture of my daughter if you hate babies. Here's why: if you're fake in your actions, you'll build a network of people with different values. And that's only going to harm you in the long run. You won't have common conversation points, and people won't understand you. Be genuine. Interact with people who share your interests.

2) Small Interactions are Pivotal. People are compulsive, selfish, and lack confidence. And that's just the predictable parts. They want to know that someone is listening. (hint hint). Think that people don't notice when you like their status update? Wrong. They notice. And they care. Become a consistent presence in their life by commenting, liking, and sharing their content.

3) Do Favors. Chris Matthews (Hardball) had it right. What have you done for me lately? And the last thing you'll ever hear from me is to do them with an expectation. Do them because (hopefully) you're a genuine person and you enjoy doing them. The payback will come, just don't expect it to come the way you think it will.

4) Be Consistent: Don't disappear for months at a time. Don't assume that because things are going your way now, that they will always be that way and ignore your network. I'm not saying you have to post everyday. Because, trust me, I know I'm certainly not that interesting.

5) Make Common Sense More Common: Guys/People/Gals. This is the tip that I actually struggle with the most because it's really difficult to define. But I'm going to try. (because I said I'd give you five tips...) You'll hear people say to keep your social networks professional. I'm going to throw caution to the air and say be real instead. We idolize "professionals" because we think they have their shit together. But I'll tell you now, Employers don't hire professionals, they hire personalities that fit within their culture. And if your bad professional self is too cut and dry, that's the environment you're going to get, and it won't make you happy. Here's the difficult part: be real to a point. If you're a casual drinker, it's okay to put a picture of you having a beer with your friends up on your networks. But if you're an "overly" casual drinker - let's avoid the binge drinking pictures that end up with smeared permanent marker across our faces. Okay? Okay.